Mama Sparkles Confidential

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Here's one that may not come as a surprise:
I hate talking on the phone. I avoid it at all costs. It's hard to pinpoint just one reason why. It's just not enjoyable for me. It could have something to do with the fact that I don't like my voice or that I feel awkward when I talk. I express myself better with written words than with spoken ones.

The whole process of using the phone is somewhat scary. When I call someone for the first time, I get incredibly nervous. The ringing while waiting for the other person to pick up is agony. Then, once they do pick up, you have to introduce yourself, explain your reason for calling and then find a way to end the call without sounding rude. Or, if they don't pick up, you have to leave a message and run the risk of sounding stupid, without any way of undoing what you've said. This tense situation can all be avoided by writing a simple email that will take a only a minute or two to compose. Kinda makes you wonder why I worked as a reservations agent at a hotel, where all I did was talk on the phone all day. It did make me more comfortable with using the phone...perhaps I should do that again sometime.

I don't even have a real cell phone. I have a pay as you go phone that I use minimally. I hardly ever answer my landline. The ringer is usually turned off anyway. If somebody I like leaves a message, I'll pick it up. This is actually an excellent way to weed out telemarketers. And, if I don't answer the phone for you it doesn't mean I don't like you...maybe I'm really not home.

That said, I do think having a phone is necessary. Sometimes, you just have to talk to someone right away. Like in emergency situations. Or, if I get separated from my Hubby at a store (which happens quite a bit and I tend to freak out when it does), it's rather handy to be able to call him and ask him where he is. Other than that, I see no use for a cell phone. And I suppose my landline is useful for calling emergency services (which I've done) and for calling close friends and family who don't make me hyperventilate when I have to call them. For everything else, I have an iPod Touch to make me feel cool.

Please don't ever hesitate to call me though. Just know that I may not always answer right away, or you may get a response via email. Anyone else out there feel the same way about the phone or is it just me?

Mama Sparkles Confidential

*Click the Columns tab to see an explanation of Mama Sparkles Confidential.

It's been a while since I updated this column, so here's another imperfection of mine for you...
It bothers me that there's not one thing I can do really well. I know, it seems like everyone has this problem with themselves, but lately I find myself struggling with it. I feel like there are a few things that I do pretty well (driving is not one of them), but I'm not an expert in any of them. Now, I'm not asking to be the best at anything. I know that even among experts, there are always people who can do certain things better than you. I don't want to be the best expert - I just want to be a regular expert. At something. Sometimes, I feel like it would be better to trade all the things I'm pretty good at for just one thing, if it meant that I could be really good at it.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Mad Hot Ballroom. In it, the teacher says "Find something you love to do, then do it very well." That quote has stuck with me from the moment I first heard it.

I'm still searching for that one thing that I can do very well. Or, maybe I just need to work harder at the things I can already do. Something to think about, for sure!

Mama Sparkles Confidential

This is a new column I'm trying out, where I let you in on my imperfections. You may be surprised to hear that even though my blog's name is Mama Sparkles, my life is not always sparkly. That doesn't mean I should stop trying though. You also won't find any especially juicy or depressing tidbits here - I really am a pretty happy, positive person most of the time. But perhaps you can get to know me a little better and I can get to know you. And maybe in turn we can learn to overcome our imperfections.

So, here's the scoop (and some of you already know this about me) but...

Driving terrifies me. In fact, when I'm in the driver's seat this is how I feel:


You see, I've never been any good with anything that involves wheels. I never learned to ride a bike properly. When I went roller skating parties, I was always the one clinging to the wall the entire time. Driving a car held no interest for me, but at age eighteen I decided I better bite the bullet and get my license. I failed the written test twice. Then I failed the road test twice. The third time I passed, but the examiner yelled at me at the end of the test and called me an unsafe driver. He had to pass me though, because apparently I hadn't lost enough points to fail. Shortly after that, I left home and didn't drive a car again for a very long time.

Fast forward five years later. I'm newly married, with a new job as a ballet instructor. I had taken some driving lessons and was feeling confident that I could start driving the car. Hubby helped me practice driving to and from the studio until I felt I was ready to try it myself. Well guess what - I managed to crash the car pretty badly my very first time taking it out. Sigh.

Now I only drive when absolutely necessary. I've driven a grand total of five times by myself, two of which have resulted in an accident. Not a very good track record! For the sake of my kids though, I want to try again. Do you think I can do it?